So let’s get started with ‚Äúchalti ka naam bus‚Äù ‚Äì the one which keeps on travelling is bus. If Metro is the heart of Delhi, DTC Buses are veins of Delhi propagating the lives of many through bus routes.
You will find many different kinds of people in bus, some of them annoying, some funny, some plain stupid to such extent that you can‚Äôt help yourself restraining not to describe them in your circle, so am I. So have a look at these persons one by one:
1.Aunties with persistent fever
‚ÄúBeta, mai bimaar hu, mujhe seat de do‚Äù (Son, I am sick, please give me a seat) is the standard line of some aunties you would stumble across for sure in a DTC bus. You would go to heaven if the lady was really sick or else you would burn with the fire of a thousand suns on sight of her sitting comfortably on the seat, talking loudly and laughing a demonic smile and you realising that you were being tricked. You can‚Äôt run, you can‚Äôt escape, it is difficult to identify differences between both before offering them your seat.
This one is my favourite. I don‚Äôt understand where on Earth these Gentlemen come from. He will occupy lady‚Äôs seat even if the whole bus is offering seats wherever he wishes. Firstly you will only think that maybe he is about to reach his destiny. But believe me he will later on after finding that all the seats are occupied will glue to it and will fight for the seat on being asked by a woman to vacant seat for her. It‚Äôs funny to see how he can never win against a woman.
3. Triplet Lover
So here comes the shifting vala part. Three idiots on two idiots‚Äô seat. See how it functions: With two skinny persons, another skinny or plumpy can adjust. With one skinny and one plumpy, another plumpy can adjust. Funny part- with two plumpy persons another one such can also form triplet on two bus seats. The person having window-side somewhat feels ok, the middle one has to lean forward persistently and the last one (the most deprived one) has to become a shield against crowd of people falling on triplets!
4. Stand-up Lady
Young blood and they prove it. They only want a little space to stand in front of your seats to escape the falling of people over them. You will see lots of such standing ladies in a fully crowded bus.Funny part is- What do you think of a combination of triplets and stand up lady?
These are laziest of all. Never want to use their legs. Even if the bus is empty, completely empty, they will tell you to pass the money to the conductor and yes of course don‚Äôt forget to pass their earned tickets back to them.
6. Glancing Souls
As if they are about to reach their destination, they would constantly peep outside window and look for landmarks to confirm if they are about to reach. Their every peep outside window forms a chain reaction to give us hope of an empty seat in the crowded bus. But believe me you would want to kill them after finding out that they actually are departing with you at the last bus stop!
7. Pass the parcel winner
This person is none other than you yourself. Sit proximately to conductor and pass money for two or more tickets, you would soon find yourself loaded with the job of sub-conductor passing money, passing tickets and repeat, repeat, repeat.
Best policy is to head down against your front seat and listen to no one to seriously avoid your job.
So ‚Äúchalti ka naam bus‚Äù will always go on forever like this. Do share seats with needy because other time you will be a needy too. I know it‚Äôs sometimes tough when you have to travel to awfully far places on regular basis, but this is life.
So, next time you take a DTC bus, which annoying person you are most likely to stumble across?